Fertility Nitty-Gritty Series: Some Hard Won Knowledge in the Quest for Pregnancy

There are a lot of awful things that people say to couples struggling with infertility, all spoken with the best of intentions. As a side note, let me give you a piece of advice: most people struggling with infertility don’t want your advice. They don’t want assurances that it all happens for a reason or that they could adopt or that your son-in-law’s sister tried hot yoga and got preggers immediately!

They just want to know that you care. That you see the pain and struggle. That you love and support them. There’s nothing wrong with just saying, “I’m so sorry. We’ll be praying for you.” That’s so much better than anything else you might say.

But I digress.

I point this out because this new series is meant to tackle explaining some of the nitty gritty details of things Hubster and I have tried in our quest to get pregnant. Given that I know exactly how frustrating/enraging/irritating/infuriating/exasperating it can be to receive unsolicited advice, I want to say this about Fertility Nitty Gritty: I am only telling you the road that I am walking down.

It’s different than your road, if you are struggling to conceive.

It’s different than your niece/daughter/friend/sister-in-law/aunt’s story. 

Every conception journey is different. What worked for you or them may not be working for me. What I am doing may not work for you. I am just writing to share my experience. My hope is that through sharing, we can connect in the moments that make up a life struggling to conceive a baby.

I want to share the facets of women’s reproductive health that I have become passionate about through this process, because I am convinced that more knowledge will help other women out there. I want to share the frustrations and success I have had with fertility challenges, and tell you about the ways in which my overall health has improved because of this quest, despite the lack of pregnancy.

So Fertility Nitty Gritty will be about the details of the physical health side of my fertility struggle. Here are some of the topics I plan to tackle:

• Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) and Kindara
• Working with a Naturopathic Doctor
• Working with an Acupuncturist
• Using a Menstrual Cup
• Fertility Supplements
• Essential Oils

Struggling to conceive is tough, regardless of where you are in the process or what strategies or interventions you have tried. The nitty gritty of it can be painful, invasive, humiliating, and demoralizing.

But I am convinced that the only way to practice resilience to the shame that infertility often causes is to talk about it (and if you want to talk about how to deal with shame, read Brene Brown’s amazing book, Daring Greatly. It will blow your mind).

So Fertility Nitty Gritty is me, talking about it.

I hope that it helps you. And I hope that some of you want to join in on the conversation.

If you are struggling to conceive, know that you are not alone. I'm praying for you. Others are too. 

If you know someone who's dealing with this challenge, just offer them love and support.